Sunday, May 28, 2006

Bullshit is useful!

Okey, I have read the following:

"What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions: What makes up 100% in life?

If:A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z
is represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:
H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and
K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But,
A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,
B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

So, one can then conclude with mathematical certainty that:
While Hardwork and knowledge will get you close, and, Attitude will get you there, Bullshit and Ass kissing will put you over the top!!!"



So, dont feel guilty for spending time on this blog! ;)
/H

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Oops, we did it again!

Yes, beautiful people out there...

Life sucks and then we changed our poll..

May your heart (and mouse) go on..

And may we be able to get your vote!


(yeah, very lame but anyway... VOTE!)

Friday, May 12, 2006

I am A... and I am here to stay

So this is my first post in the blogshitters community that I have been honoured to be invited to by Senorita Angie (I am just trying to get in her good books, but I should call her senora actually). Before we start the hostilities, let me introduce myself: I am Anis a Tunisian blogshitter, AIESEC member for a few years and nomad for a couple more.

So I think I am in my element (according to Angie’s stats) as 86% of the blogshitters are guys and most of all that 80% are Indians as I carry a special love for India.

My love story with India started the day I had an interview with AIESEC International for an external relation position (GPM). The panel was: Pedro (president), Yumna (current GPM), the current External relation VP, and the Elect VP… the thing is out of 4 people, 3 were Indians. And the nominated GPM was… Indian.

So since that day and I love India as much as I love AIESEC international :)

Shoot at me I am a masochiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiist…

But before you wear your Dick Cheney hunting clothes and pull the trigger, maybe you should read the disclaimer first. I have a bad habit to stick with the rules:

1 - Be aware that any information you find here may be offensive, misleading, abusive, ironic, dangerous, misspelled, inaccurate, illegal, excessive, etc.
2 - Any resemblance to actual events, persons, and random shit in general is entirely coincidental.

Oh and if you don’t like it:

3 - Go sue me or something

Mouahhahahaa (satanic laugh), I love disclaimers… Blahhhh total bullshit… ohhh, perfect!!!!!

A.

Who are you?

Back in the days when I attended IPM in Sri Lanka we had to play this game “Who are you?” and really dig deep into that question. For some reason mr Goel, Rajat (who was there with Electrolux) and me teamed up. I think the main reason for that team was to try to escape the game. However after a while I obviously got conscious and felt that we also had to play the game. Obviously I had no clue what to answer when they asked me “So, who are you?”… and somehow funnily those two guys managed to not answer the question at all. Still when Robin asks me “So, who are you?” I have freaking no clue what to answer.

But now it is solved! And that without even having spent too much money at schrink appointments! All that was needed was a few 10 seconds test on the internet. So this is who I am:

I am a “London-girl” cause Im both a cosmopolitan big city girl, at the same time as traditional. My marriage proposal should happen in Christmas time with snow and city lights. I AM a man-eater- the kind of girl all chicks hate, and guys are both scared of me yet getting strangely involved with (eeehh… yeah right). I am also a GREAT girlfriend: “When it comes to your guy, you're very thoughtful. But you also haven't stopped thinking of yourself. You're the perfect blend of independent and caring. You're a total catch - make sure your guy knows it too!”

Now at least I know who I am! If you also want to find out who you are you can check this link:
http://ynr.blogthings.com/whatcitydoyoubelonginquiz/ (I dont know how to make a nice cool link saying "Click here")

/H

PS: Obviously the person guiding me to this “enlightment” was the one and only Angie! Can we please know who you are as well?

Monday, May 08, 2006

Rambling

I have a few statements to make; however they are not necessarily connected to each other, not that this fact has ever been an issue (at least on Absolut Blogshit), so ill just proceed:

a) During my absence last month, the unbelievable happened! The legendary Amit Sood pulled himself together to accept the invite to Absolut Blogshit! Okay, forget about accepting invites... he POSTED on AB! Whoa!! Im kinda sure his post was the longest sentence I have heard from him (apart from his now famous monosyllables on MSN) since we lived together in Stockholm! Welcome onboard Sood and i hope you will be a regular from now on...

b) It turns out Absolut Blogshit is 80% comprised by indians and 86% comprised by guys!! Now that may not be all that shocking to you, and now that i think of it, its not that shocking to me either, but i just thought we should make that clear and official at some point. In fact, these very relevant statistics just beautifully lead to the 3rd topic, which is...

c) Me being constantly part of a minority. It starts with me being a redhead, which makes me part of the 4% of the world's population. Followed by me hating onions, which makes me part of the 1% of the world's population. Followed by me being really disgusted at this lamb barbacoa meat that is supposedly a dish fit for the Gods, which must make me part of the 0.2% of the carnivore world's population.

I really dont mind being a minority on AB, nor being a minority because of the colour of my hair, but it is EXTREMELY annoying to be a minority when it comes to onions and meats... whenever i go eat i have to remember to ask the waiter to please abstain from adding onions to my dish (cause all things being equal, onions will be part of the recipe), and thats kinda the best case scenario, cause what happens when you are invited to a meal at someone's place and all they have is lamb barbacoa with onions?

You gain weight cause you stuff yourself with beer and tortillas instead!

Friday, May 05, 2006

Bullshit for the Underaged


Need i say more? I hope the Parenthood Guides out there include a whole chapter about how to bullshit professionally.

Thursday, May 04, 2006

Premium membership

Dear readers,

Time has come to grant "Premium membership" to one more of our fellow bloggers. Just like in a relationship we praise passion, commitment and pro-activeness on this blog! So ladies and gentleman, a true gentleman has shown these characteristics and from now on can call himself "Premium member" of Absolut Blogshit. Put your hands together for - Amit Desai! May you live long and propesperous!

Kind regards,
Angie and Hanna

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Indian Livers :)

hey all,
after Valborg which is celebrated as a 1st day of spring in sweden - well i doubt if people give two hoots to this. its a festival where there is non stop drinking from 10 00 AM.

Concept of champagne gallop - where u get a bottle of champagne for 100 swedish bucks and then ppl spray champagne like crazy and ofcourse drink it as if a guy who ran a marathon is given 'water'

But anyways, i was fortunate enough to be a part of this. Now about approx 4-5 years back, when i compare my first sip of alcohol to today where i dont feel drunk after a considerable amount of alcohol, i wonder occasionally how my liver is grown up or become tough. it feels that if your liver is non existent considering you just tank up like never before!

i had the honour of working with Sam - and i have never seen him like crazy passed out. He is a tanker who can put in abt 5 - 6 pitchers of beer easily alone, but wouldnt have signs of wearing away.

and so i have been thinking about dedicating this post to the liver of indians and i am sure there are more livers that have been playing a tough role in making sure that you enjoy life!

As people do say - cheers to beers and britney spears or pamela's peers, i want to share my thoughts by involving everyone to now also use:
"Cheers to beers and our livers :)"

- Amit