Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Appetite!

The mystery is solved!!!...

I read on the subway that appetite, comes from the latin word "appetitus", which apart from meaning hunger and craving for food, also means lust and desire. And now I understand why I'm hungry and want to eat all the time! This huge appetite of mine is actually just a way for a dull Swede to let out the passion and lust that is bundling inside of me, and which is close to force me to burst would it not be channalised through my hunger!

So to all my hungry friends - cheers to passion!

/H

Thursday, March 23, 2006

It's a bird, It's a plane...

Its our New Poll!!!

In case you had not noticed, we have changed our periodically-updated poll. As usual, it is out there to conquer some truth about the really important things in life, and therefore it is still living up to its own essence and high standards.

This time we want to know What kind of drunk you are. Please note that we are not questioning if you actually are a drunk, we assume you have passed that typical denial phase to finally enter the fabulous world of drunk acceptance and self-knowledge.

We look forward to read your confession, and we look even more forward to have the chance to compare 'theory' and 'practice' when the opportunity knocks our doors!

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Bullshit and Relativity

Everything is relative.

Who hasnt heard of that?

But hey, when they say everything, they mean EVERY thing. Even Bullshit.

Bullshit looks, smells and sounds different depending on where exactly you are standing at a given moment of time.

If you dont believe me, then you gotta believe the Theory of Relativity's Master: A. Einstein yeah? Cause he has actually said it himself...


One of these days im gonna start reading Absolut Blogshit while im standing on my hands, it may have a totally new meaning!!

(Special thanks to Mr. Daniel Stenvall for providing the supporting evidence for this post)

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Today is an important day

Hallo everyone!

Today, and this is no bullshit, is the "International day for frogs".

I say, let's all raise our glasses!

/Hanna

Friday, March 17, 2006

Love, love, love

Hallo hallo!!!

Ive been thinking.

Once again, I want to stress the logic and simple approach that kids use, and I would like to strike a blow for everyone to have more of a kid-way of living life.

This is the story: my niece (Johanna) told me that her friend (Ebba) had got a new boyfriend the day before (cant remember the name of the boy, let's call him Johan). How it had happend was that Johanna had told Johan that Ebba likes him. She had asked Johan if he likes Ebba. He had answered yes. Johanna went and told this to Ebba. And then Johan and Ebba were a couple. This highly loving couple did not talk to each other, but they were still together. Until Johan the day after broke up. Or he did not break up, but Johanna heard him saying to someone else that he was not together with Ebba, which means that he had broken up.

That's the kind of simplicity in love life I want! Instead we "grown-ups" spend six months waiting for the right moment to come to tell someone we like him/her. Then we also have a sex month period to really break-up.

Imagine if instead, I would ask Angie to tell mr. Pilly that I like him. Angie goes to mr Pilly, says "Ms Pulli likes you, do you like her?". He answers yes (lets hope at least!). Angie comes back to me, says he likes me, and then we are a couple. If for any reason I would stop being in love with mr Pilly, I ask Angie to tell him so.

Imagine the efficiency of love life that we would achieve! We would spend less time in agony wondering if this person really likes us, and think about which words to use. I think this is really a strategy to quickly "turn passion into action"!

Go kids! Go love!
/H

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Commenting on the surprising poll result

The poll has now been open for quite some time and the amount of people sharing their voice in this important matter has been high. Therefore any conclusions will be statistically reassured.

However we must note that we are a bit surprised about the result. We currently have 12 votes for Angie and Hanna in a boat, two for Jennifer and two for Angelina. It has now actually become quite crucial to marry Donald Trump (at least for one of us, and I guess I have to sacrifice myself and do so) to get access to that boat. Angelina comments on the results saying that she's not too disappointed, as long as she can spend the evenings home with Brad. Unfortunately Brad will join us on the boat.

Jennifer is a bit more devasted, but says that she has got good friends who will take care of her (I know... bad joke... no wonder she didnt get more votes...)

What would be of interest for future studies is to compare these results to the results from our previous poll (i.e. if people would be have sex with a celebrity even if they couldnt tell a single soul), and see which conclusions that can be drawn.

We thank you for your co-operation. Science has once again taken a step forward!
And Donald - let us know when the boat is set up!
/Angie and Hanna

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

I wonder...


Does this make Americans qualify as Bullshitters?

(I hope im not offending anyone with this innocent cartoon. If so, please read our Disclaimer before you open fire or water or anything!)

Friday, March 03, 2006

Is there a hierarchy for shit?

What is the difference between horseshit, bullshit, dogshit, birdshit, lambshit, flyshit, etc?

Among all the different animals.. why did we pick bulls for our favorite art and sport: Bullshit?

I am sure you (as many other intellectuals) have been wondering about these rather meaningful topics and therefore, i am set to offer some insights to your quest:

In the early days, our ancestor-bullshitters were struggling to name their favorite sport; it was very clear to them that it had something to do with 'shit', so the only thing left to establish was whose or what kind of. Those interrogations were the driver to run a thorough assesment to define a shit's hierarchy or categorisation. The factors taken into account for the results were never brought to light, but that was obviously not necessary, as everybody knows we bullshitters trust each other's rationale when its time to do so.

Your inferences are correct. After the assessment, (somehow) Bulls were selected and a new era had started..

But what was behind that special selection?

a) As you may have noticed, bulls are quite impressive. Big, Strong and Powerful.. features that would obviously characterise (at least at certain crucial moments) anyone that can call himself a bullshitter. Not to mention they also truly characterise the effect that pure bullshit can have if managed appropriately.

b) Some years ago, this vegetarian-yoga duo movement was not really in vogue (at least not outside India), which clearly implies most of our ancestors were not into it, they seriously enjoyed a piece of big-fat-red meat, so a tribute to beef banquets was a natural thing to do.

There is another theory though that hints it was indian ancestors who picked bulls, and they did it because of bulls' close relation to cows. You know, bullshitting is considered the 1st national sport in India (yeah, even before cricket believe it or not!) so they had to name it after an important symbol.

In the end, there is not enough scientific evidence to prove that bulls made it first on that hierarchy or if the assessment revealed astonishing data about them. After all, lets face it.. being bullshitters we would certainly do even if we had picked mosquitos.

Urban legends allude that most likely our ancestors were simply 'exercising' again.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Gold hamsters.... ???!!!!

Hallo!!

Who came up with the idea that we need a pet called (or rather than just being called, actually BEING) a hamster! Or a gold hamster for the fancy ones... (or actually not for the fancy ones but for the hamsters that have a golden fur). Now one can wonder how I came to think about this. The answer is not that I was extremely bored at a seminar in ethical conduct (which I was) and that my thoughts wandered off to hamsters (the likely hood of that happening is kinda small), but that I am guarding nothing less than four hamsters currently! Why each of my nephews and niece had to get a hamster remains an enigma. But seriously, which value do the hamsters play? They're too small to play with, they bite, and they smell! Okey now I shouldnt be too harsch on the hamster, since right now they are the only people (or creatures) to whom I play an importance, they depend on me to get food!

But this is my observation on the uselessness of hamsters:
1) they spend an enormous part of their time awake climbing upside down on the cage-ceiling. This means that they spend half their life upside down. This I think is evidence for other strange behavior, namely;
2) Horrified last night after having given one of the hamsters heaps of food (so that he, or is it a she could survive for 2 days without me taking care of him) I find that there's no food left. I give him/her more food and he/she immediately jumps there. I was getting afraid he/she would explode. Then I realise that he/she has just taken the food and put it in one of the "plastic room" in the cage. Why would one do that? If you're served food at the dinner table, you dont take it and put it in the corner of the living room?
3) They sit in their food while they eat it!!

I think point 3 just says enough. I cant go on.
If anyone has positive encounters with hamsters to share, please do so. Im pussled about their existence!

Cheerio
/H

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

Is your job bullshit?

I guess you already know, but in case you need some reinforcement, take this quick quiz and find out!

I scored 116. So, ladies and gentlemen, its official: im an Artist!

Im just kinda wondering if we bullshitters are supposed to enjoy bullshit jobs. Cause a bullshit job is not the same as bullshitting at your job, is it?